Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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