What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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