I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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