We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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