He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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