He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
NoShamevember. You game?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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