i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
