I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize