The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
