But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
