By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We don't watch enough power rangers
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
