I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
