If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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