Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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