my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
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Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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