is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
