so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
