ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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