i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
