i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
