I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
