were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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