sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize