Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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