thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
