In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
