so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
