idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
