I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
