He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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