Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
