So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
