what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
