i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
