We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
