Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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