your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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