big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
