And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
