it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize