You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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