Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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