But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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