If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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