btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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