I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
