just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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