p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
