His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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