I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
