good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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