in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
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My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with