craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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