He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
