I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
