Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

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(904): View more from Florida

she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Sacagawea was the original milf.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

That bad?

(1-805): View more from California

Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.

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(613): View more from Ontario

You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.

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(740): View more from Ohio

just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?

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