Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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  (501): if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church http://tfl.nu/2izr
  Replies (15) Good night (1765) Bad night (2306)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that

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  (613): His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that http://tfl.nu/uqyw
  Replies (23) Good night (1156) Bad night (3749)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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  (919): DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages. http://tfl.nu/6cym
  Replies (16) Good night (3015) Bad night (707)
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  (818): View more from California

  you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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  (818): you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures http://tfl.nu/qd8i
  Replies (14) Good night (3691) Bad night (521)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?

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  (207): do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam? http://tfl.nu/5qkv
  Replies (31) Good night (819) Bad night (5387)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (3188)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

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  (847): On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity. http://tfl.nu/th3j
  Replies (24) Good night (7288) Bad night (928)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.

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  (203): I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further. http://tfl.nu/4sxq
  Replies (5) Good night (2460) Bad night (704)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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  (512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462
  Replies (2) Good night (2262) Bad night (796)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision

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  (330): i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision http://tfl.nu/wqwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1051) Bad night (1995)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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  (845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w
  Replies (2) Good night (2013) Bad night (756)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee

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  (315): i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee http://tfl.nu/vhng
  Replies (8) Good night (1931) Bad night (528)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.

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  (610): My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help. http://tfl.nu/86v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1415) Bad night (511)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man

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  (404): He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man http://tfl.nu/p704
  Replies (14) Good night (1685) Bad night (444)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying

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  (312): I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying http://tfl.nu/bo49
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (421)

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