Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail http://tfl.nu/mrce
  Replies (8) Good night (3651) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/hyhy
  Replies (9) Good night (849) Bad night (2438)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The brown eye won't let me do that either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): The brown eye won't let me do that either. http://tfl.nu/x635
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (2595)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer. http://tfl.nu/r6k4
  Replies (17) Good night (735) Bad night (7158)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4306) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  To a 70 year old lady?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face" (774): To a 70 year old lady?! http://tfl.nu/99j2
  Replies (20) Good night (5145) Bad night (2220)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs http://tfl.nu/d5ya
  Replies (33) Good night (1188) Bad night (7076)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/77ib
  Replies (6) Good night (1194) Bad night (2974)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/8fl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1925) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp
  Replies (10) Good night (879) Bad night (1894)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (328) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional. http://tfl.nu/j7mu
  Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb http://tfl.nu/ag2r
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that. http://tfl.nu/vjrp
  Replies (0) Good night (443) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door? http://tfl.nu/c2rg
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (169)

Randomize