allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
