so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
