I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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