That's when you crack a 10am beer
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you inspire me to be a worse person
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
