No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
